Mothers

Not MF's!Though the meaning might apply here??
I mean one that sits up waiting for you to come home at 3AM for the 20 questions!!
My mom came for a visit last week. And it so happens I had a date with the Big Guy to see Rob Schneider at the local Comedy Club (real frickin' funny by the way!!)I came rollin' in at 3am and that was only because I had to get up at 6 for work. She was waiting up for me.

NO she didn't ask if I had a good time! NO she didn't ask if Rob was funny! She said "I thought you said you'd be home at midnight. It's 3 o'clock in the morning."
AM I 16 ALL OVER AGAIN ???!!!
Apparently.

Well of course you all know I had to see him again Friday and Saturday. She went home Saturday afternoon, so I thought I'd be safe staying overnight to Sunday. But with the invention of cell phones and fucking text messaging, she figured out I was still out or just out very late. Whatever.
OK I am officially SLEEPING AROUND according to my mother!! Like one guy constitutes "around". Nothing like getting a text message bitching at you for setting a shitty example for your daughter.
My daughter (her granddaughter) at the unmarried age of 21 has a 2yr old son. I think she knows all about having sex at 3 in the morning, MOM!! In my daughter's defense, this was a college romance...she managed to graduate magna cum laude with a BS criminal justice degree in 3 yrs!! And in my defense this is my first fucking relationship other than my marriage in 30 YEARS! Cut me a break already!
So you know we're not talking now. I'll keep you posted on that.

The Big Guy's mother?
I was out Saturday night to meet the "safe" member of his family...his younger brother. I tried way too hard to be funny and personable knowing any impression was going straight to the other members of his Italian Catholic family. Got the picture?

Sunday evening the Big Guy is with his family...
Mother:" Pretty nice car in your driveway today"
(she was at his house about 3:30 in the afternoon!...funny she didn't hear the moans from the bedroom at that time. At least she didn't try ringing the bell!)
Mother:"Your brother said she's nice"
Then the discussion about why he didn't say anything. After his last GF, she said not to bring anyone around unless they had a ring on their finger.(I know what you're thinkin'. Me too!!)
When he reminded her of that, his sister needed to confirm. According to the Big Guy,Sis' word is gospel.

Like I said... MF's? Not that they are... just what a MOTHERf****r in general!
Yea I'm in real deep shit with both.