Hi Girlfriends,
So as much as I've tried to carry on my normal daily activities...such as trimming the shrubs and other yard work...I stop every few minutes with flashes of that fabulous night. Really HOT flashes!
I review every moment with audible outbursts... and I've called all my best friends to share my locker room news. And so when the Big Guy (I'd use Mr. Big but Carrie already claimed it) texts:
Him: You are one fine lady to make love to. WOW
Me: Actually you are the BIG WOW. Can't stop re living every moment.
He calls me and`says..."you're such a guy"
Compliment? Ya think?
Tonight I went bra shopping at VS's. There I was telling the very cute little clerk about getting ditched by my (former) husband and getting a new guy I wanted to impress with some really HOT new undies. I stopped short of the details...OH SHIT THANK GOD...when I handed her` my credit card, she`said oh you are (BLANK'S) mom?
This cute little clerk went to grade school with my daughter..
SWEET!
later,
twice a teenager
p.s. still waiting for a call for an encore.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Twice A Teenager Maiden Voyage
"Once A Woman Twice a Teenager": My Sexual (mis)Adventures of Midlife Dating.
Hello to all girlfriends dating again after years of monogamy. I thought you could help me in this uncharted territory. My husband of many (way too many) years left me. THANK GOD! And now I am exploring the world of midlife dating.
The rules are different now. Right? We can't have our best friend call him for us. And we can't just run into him at the local hangout. But I am so getting ahead of myself.
I am a middle aged woman. Maybe a few pounds too many in the middle and ass but I am blessed with great skin and a better than average set of tits. I lie about my age and I get away with it..even my bff's were fooled for years.
I needed a date, a few drinks, maybe a burger (steak would be better) and the promise of great kissing. Of course full on sex would be better but kissing is definitely needed. Long slow tongue. Mullets were in the last time I remember real good making out!
So I do what modern girls do-watch Oprah. The Secret show (and my good buddy Kim) tell me to to cast my intention on the universe and expect for it to happen. Sounds so goofy huh?
BUT Oh Baby OH BABY!! what I got is incredible. Let's say I got it all. Now I am sure you want the full details but I want to tell you I just had 5 and 1/2 hours of the most amazing kissing, foreplay, sex play and the best fuck of my life! Now really the best, you ask?? I didn't have 5 and 1/2 hours in the last decade of my marriage all together.
And to those guys (my exhusband for one) that have said that size doesn't matter YOU HAVE SMALL WEENIES!! And to think he had me convinced it was me. I couldn't respond...I didn't like it...and much too many more bullshit lines. Yeah buddy guess again. I just had HANDS DOWN the best sex ever from the BIGGEST guy ever.
I wish I had a tape measure so I could have the bragging rights with all my best girlfriends. But here's the thing...he is sweet and and I want alot more of him.
So Girlfriends, I need advice... how ever do I keep him interested...keep him calling...texting...I so want to beg for more. But I know there are rules. But what are they?? I am as giddy as a teenager! And certainly no more smarter about men than when I really was one. So please clue me in.
I'll give you more details as I go along. (Like all good girlfriends, you want details, details! ) Well here's one---I had my friend DEB (thank you good buddy) suggest I get prepared in case the big event happens. So I trot on down to my local Rite Aid for KY and some condoms. Never bought one in my life. HIV wasn't invented in my teenage sex days. So I use the KY but he's got protection. Fine with me. So later we have a conversation that goes something like this:
HIM: You keep that (meaning KY) in your purse?
ME: No I bought it tonight.
HIM: Why?
ME: I thought I should be prepared.
HIM: Then why didn't you buy condoms too?
HIM: I did.
HIM: They're probably too small. You bought the wrong ones.
ME: I don't think so.
HIM: Really?
(so I pull them out and they are exactly the Trojan Magnum's he had)
HIM:How did you know?
ME:Lucky Guess.
(Girlfriends, he is 6'5" and wears a size 15 shoe. Now c'mon it wasn't all that tough.)
Now we had another conversation worth sharing about the condoms. Though I don't remember exactly how we got going on this but I said:
ME: I should have left them (the condoms) at your house. I don't intend to use them anywhere else.
HIM: That's right. Try filnding someone to fill those shoes. Good luck with that.
So to All you girlfriends in the web universe...help me out. tell me what you think. What I should do. (besides GUSH like a teenager!)
till later
Twice a Teenager
Hello to all girlfriends dating again after years of monogamy. I thought you could help me in this uncharted territory. My husband of many (way too many) years left me. THANK GOD! And now I am exploring the world of midlife dating.
The rules are different now. Right? We can't have our best friend call him for us. And we can't just run into him at the local hangout. But I am so getting ahead of myself.
I am a middle aged woman. Maybe a few pounds too many in the middle and ass but I am blessed with great skin and a better than average set of tits. I lie about my age and I get away with it..even my bff's were fooled for years.
I needed a date, a few drinks, maybe a burger (steak would be better) and the promise of great kissing. Of course full on sex would be better but kissing is definitely needed. Long slow tongue. Mullets were in the last time I remember real good making out!
So I do what modern girls do-watch Oprah. The Secret show (and my good buddy Kim) tell me to to cast my intention on the universe and expect for it to happen. Sounds so goofy huh?
BUT Oh Baby OH BABY!! what I got is incredible. Let's say I got it all. Now I am sure you want the full details but I want to tell you I just had 5 and 1/2 hours of the most amazing kissing, foreplay, sex play and the best fuck of my life! Now really the best, you ask?? I didn't have 5 and 1/2 hours in the last decade of my marriage all together.
And to those guys (my exhusband for one) that have said that size doesn't matter YOU HAVE SMALL WEENIES!! And to think he had me convinced it was me. I couldn't respond...I didn't like it...and much too many more bullshit lines. Yeah buddy guess again. I just had HANDS DOWN the best sex ever from the BIGGEST guy ever.
I wish I had a tape measure so I could have the bragging rights with all my best girlfriends. But here's the thing...he is sweet and and I want alot more of him.
So Girlfriends, I need advice... how ever do I keep him interested...keep him calling...texting...I so want to beg for more. But I know there are rules. But what are they?? I am as giddy as a teenager! And certainly no more smarter about men than when I really was one. So please clue me in.
I'll give you more details as I go along. (Like all good girlfriends, you want details, details! ) Well here's one---I had my friend DEB (thank you good buddy) suggest I get prepared in case the big event happens. So I trot on down to my local Rite Aid for KY and some condoms. Never bought one in my life. HIV wasn't invented in my teenage sex days. So I use the KY but he's got protection. Fine with me. So later we have a conversation that goes something like this:
HIM: You keep that (meaning KY) in your purse?
ME: No I bought it tonight.
HIM: Why?
ME: I thought I should be prepared.
HIM: Then why didn't you buy condoms too?
HIM: I did.
HIM: They're probably too small. You bought the wrong ones.
ME: I don't think so.
HIM: Really?
(so I pull them out and they are exactly the Trojan Magnum's he had)
HIM:How did you know?
ME:Lucky Guess.
(Girlfriends, he is 6'5" and wears a size 15 shoe. Now c'mon it wasn't all that tough.)
Now we had another conversation worth sharing about the condoms. Though I don't remember exactly how we got going on this but I said:
ME: I should have left them (the condoms) at your house. I don't intend to use them anywhere else.
HIM: That's right. Try filnding someone to fill those shoes. Good luck with that.
So to All you girlfriends in the web universe...help me out. tell me what you think. What I should do. (besides GUSH like a teenager!)
till later
Twice a Teenager
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